


Dreaming All Alone

by addyrobin



Category: Flock - D&D Campaign, Original Work
Genre: Sibling Bonding, every time I write about these two I make myself sad again
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-06
Updated: 2020-05-06
Packaged: 2021-03-02 17:28:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,588
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24030583
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/addyrobin/pseuds/addyrobin
Summary: At the end of another long day, Rahmi and Thana discuss their dreams under the blood-red sky.
Relationships: Rahmi Romazi & Thana Romazi





	Dreaming All Alone

**Author's Note:**

> I'm continuing to post things I've written about my D&D character in an attempt to archive them for both me and the other people who play in the game! If that's not your jam, dw--I'm doing this for me :3c
> 
> TERMS:  
> Rahmi Romazi - One of the party members, and the central focus of this story. A cheerful, ever-positive half-nymph whose life mission is to put smiles on the faces of others despite the apocalyptic world he lives in--at least externally. Internally, he's in crisis and terrified of losing the people he cares about, as well as constantly reassuring himself that he's himself. This story is a look at him in the past.
> 
> Thana Romazi - Rahmi's beloved sister. Growing up, Thana was Rahmi's best friend and only companion, and vice versa. Together, as their mother and father began to fall apart at the seams, the siblings took to the streets and did what they could to live day by day – eating what garbage looked edible, stealing stale bread from the edges of the bakery racks, and, when they could, finding honest work that would pay them in single pieces of bronze for their sweat. They spoke of their dreams as they worked in kitchens peeling potatoes and sitting in storerooms sorting through boxes of useless documents, doing the jobs that all others refused – They frequently shared those dreams and goals with each other as a way of keeping hope alive between them. Thana dreamed of being a seamstress. Her brother dreamed only of remaining at her side. However, Thana knew that she and Rahmi couldn't continue to survive in poverty the way they had been, and so she left Rahmi and her family seven years ago to try and seek fortune that would help them survive.
> 
> She has been missing since, and Rahmi's ultimate goal in life has been to find her, putting aside every other dream or goal he had in the process. Information gathering revealed that Thana is imprisoned by the killoren--the beings Rahmi has worked and lived under for several years... and even further information gathering revealed that his sister has been able to hear him through the sword he now wields, Zaiphoros. This story is a look at her and Rahmi in the past, and the first time Rahmi disclosed a real dream to Thana.
> 
> Zaiphoros - A magical falchion once belonging to Rahmi's master, Razeiya Faoric. It was suddenly gifted to Rahmi by Faoric without much explanation and has been the source of much confusion and turmoil for himself and others. The most important discovery about the blade thus far is that Rahmi's missing sister, Thana, can hear Rahmi through it.

It was the end of another long day.  


The Romazi siblings had gone, as they so often did, to the edge of Folham’s shell to watch the sunset. It was a ritual neither of them were keen on breaking, all things considered. At the end of a long, hard day of struggling to make ends meet, the two would always reconvene somewhere empty and close to the shore where they could feel the sea breeze on their skin and talk about their days.

Thana had gotten there first this time. She hadn’t seen Rahmi coming yet. He could tell by the sad smile on her face… It was the one she always wore when he wasn’t around, a fleeting expression of pain and dissatisfaction that always came up when she thought there was no one for her to pretend to be strong for. Her lips were still quirked halfway up into something like a smirk, but her eyes were hollow, barely reflecting the light of the sun as she stared down at the sea. He may have been young, but Rahmi wasn’t stupid. He was sure that he wore similar expressions when they weren’t together…

“Here.” He smiled as he sat down beside her, chasing away the pang of guilt that thrummed in his heart when his sister immediately smiled and turned towards him with no hesitation. _ You’re allowed to have feelings _ , he wanted to tell her, but he could never find the words… Especially not in Common. Thana was fluent, but his own was shaky. He wished they could just speak Sylvan, but Thana always gently insisted that he practice speaking Common with her to learn it better, since it was so prevalent across the Flock. It was a useful skill, he had to admit, and he wouldn’t have really wanted to practice with anyone else.

“Hey Mimi. All done for today?” She reached out to pet his hair, running her fingers through it and tugging him a bit closer. Rahmi scooted in towards his sister, taking in her appearance. She had some dirt on her clothes, and her face was covered in grey dust…

“Yeah.” He reached over to try and pat some of the dirt off of her shirt, picking at some grime with his fingers. “You gotta job cleaning today?”

“You got me.” Thana opened her arms wide, displaying the dirt and grime on her body as a trophy. “I helped some Cennarians clean a church. Don’t I look so  _ virtuous _ now?”

“Look dirty.” Rahmi snorted, opening his own hands in turn. They were covered in painful looking blisters, but in all actuality Rahmi didn’t feel too much pain--maybe he was just numb to it. “Guess me!”

“Hmmm-mm-mm…” Thana leaned in, gently taking Rahmi’s hands and bringing them close to her face. Her expression flickered quickly between concern, amusement, and interest as she stared at him in turn, from his hands to his clothes. “Well, the only way  _ I _ get these kinds of blisters is using tools, like… a chisel. Were you carving something?”

“Yeah! Was help make and carve stone markers for the graveyard.” He nodded proudly, returning his hands to his sides. “Got some extra money ‘cause they really needed someone. Don’t mind thinking about dead people or graveyards. Got lucky!”

“Good job!” Thana grinned, reaching into the satchel on her waist. “That makes two of us, then--I got some extra gifts from the church, too. Here, give me your hands again…”

“‘Kay.” Rahmi did as he was told, watching Thana expectantly. She delicately retrieved a bottle of something, uncorking it and pouring a few drops on his hands… Rahmi watched in awe as the blisters on his hands began to heal up, the angry red color shifting in moments to a healthier skin tone.

“Healing potions…?” Rahmi inspected his hands… They were healed now, and the pain Rahmi thought he hadn’t been feeling had ebbed away, leaving him surprisingly conscious of its absence. “Aren’t those valuable? Why’d they give you?”

“Churches are always sympathetic to kids who’re trying to work their way out of bad situations.” She smiled, putting away the bottle and pulling out something else. “And look…”

Thana opened her hands to reveal a small sewing needle and a few spools of thread, her eyes glimmering in the sunlight as she looked down at them.

“I told one of the Cennarians about how I want to be a tailor someday and how my last sewing needle broke, and he gave me these and some fabric…” Thana spoke with a reverence that only ever came to her when she talked about her dream, her voice soft and trembling slightly as she turned over one of the spools in her hand. “He said that I should come back again and show him when I’d made something. I couldn’t believe it.”

“Whoa…” Rahmi couldn’t help smiling. It was sometimes hard for him to get Thana to open up about her future goals, her mind so often set on nothing but the present and surviving from one week to the next (not that he could blame her) that she wouldn’t allow herself to be consumed by daydreams… And yet, somehow, she always insisted that Rahmi continue holding hope for the future. It occurred to him in that moment that maybe Thana just kept her dreams for the future inside most days, her own way of holding to hope despite their hardships. “What you gonna make?”

“I want to make a dress.” Thana still spoke softly, bringing the needle and thread a little closer to her chest. “It’s not like we really have any reason to dress up, but… lots of people in Eyrien wear fancy clothes anyway, so I’d like to practice making some of my own. It’s like preparing for my future clientele, I guess?”

“Mhm.” Rahmi nodded enthusiastically, reaching out to gently press his hands against his sister’s. “Good idea. Can help!”

“...yeah.” With a soft, warm sigh, Thana replaced the needle and threads in her bag, turning to face the sea. She kicked her legs over the edge and leaned back on her arms, staring out to the setting sun. Rahmi, too, turned to look out towards the sea, watching the light glimmering on the surface like hundreds of diamonds. If he had his way, Rahmi would get all the gold in the world for Thana to buy whatever needles and threads and fabrics that she wanted. She’d open her tailor shop, and he’d help her with whatever she needed to keep things running smoothly. They could spend every day together, comforted and comfortable, his sister totally happy. A real dream come true.

“Mimi?” Thana’s voice hadn’t lost its soft, dreamlike tone, and Rahmi looked over at her.

“Yeah?”

“What’s  _ your _ dream?”

“...huh? Um...” Rahmi tried not to sound too surprised as Thana stared at him, the setting sun and orange sky reflecting down on her face. She leaned in slightly, staring into his eyes with an expectant gaze. Unable to eloquently explain himself in Common, he switched back to Sylvan with a smile. “[I wanna work at your tailor shop. I wanna spend more time with you being happy!]”

“[Really?]” She smiled faintly, also making an effortless jump back to Sylvan. “[But what about  _ you _ , Rahmi? There’s gotta be something you wanna do without me, right?]”

“[Not... really.]” Rahmi looked down to his lap, and to his newly unblistered hands. “I’m happy when you’re happy. I dunno. I’ve never thought about it.]”

“[Why not try it now?]” With the smile still on her face, Thana turned her gaze back to the churning seas. “[Imagine I’m not there. Say you could do anything in the world, and money wasn’t a problem. What’s something that would fill your heart up with joy?]”

“[I dunno.]” He followed his sister’s gaze out to the sea, as though its depths would hold answers for him. “[Um… I can’t think of anything I’m good at. And I don’t wanna imagine you not there.]”

“[It’s just imagination, don’t worry. It’s okay to imagine things.]” Thana sounded so peaceful, in a way that was almost entirely unfamiliar to him. “[You’re pretty good with cooking? That could be something.]”

“[But cooking makes me nervous. I don’t wanna get burned, so I’m always kinda scared in the kitchen.]” Rahmi wanted to echo Thana’s feelings of peace, but he’d never felt any kind of inspiration towards a ‘dream’. It made him feel suddenly guilty for wishing that he could make Thana talk about her own dreams more when his own mind was occupied with the same thoughts of searching for only survival. 

“[Well, it’s not just about things you’re good at. It just has to be something that makes you feel good. The rest can fill itself out.]” Thana sounded so sure of it, but Rahmi believed that she’d always been good at sewing, even before she’d called it her dream.

He closed his eyes and leaned forward, staring out at the sea with his hands clasped in front of him. If he could do anything in the world… What would he do? Unlike his sister, Rahmi didn’t really have the talent for anything creative. He wrote poetry sometimes, but whether or not it was good was questionable, and he wasn’t even sure he’d be willing to share that with the world…

Something did occur to him though, as he reminisced on his memories. There was one thing that filled him with a sense of joy that he only ever found in fleeting moments, a distant feeling that he believed might be something like a dream.

“[I… like to sing. When nobody’s listening].” When he admitted it, his voice finally joined Thana’s in its soft affection, as though whispering a prayer or a wish to the sky. “[It makes me feel warm inside.]”

“[Really?]” He looked over to see a smile quirking up on Thana’s lips, her eyes half open to glance over at him. “[You’ve never sung for me before.]”

[“I-I mean… I don’t do it when other people are around!]” He shook his head, feeling a blush start to creep up to his cheeks. “[I don’t like my voice…]”

[“I know, Mimi.]” Thana’s voice remained calm and soft, settling Rahmi’s nerves as she continued on. “[Sorry. I wasn’t trying to sound like I was accusing you of anything. I’m just happy to hear that there’s something you like doing.]”

“[...Yeah.]” Rahmi let his heart settle a bit at that. Of course Thana would never make fun of him for admitting his passions… She’s always understood him, even about the littlest things. That’s why she’s his best friend. “[I… I  _ could  _ sing for you. Just a little bit.]”

“[Really?]” He saw Thana’s smile widening. “[I’d love that… Only if you want to, though.]”

He didn’t offer a proper answer at that, looking down at his lap and closing his eyes. Only if he wanted to… He picked a song that he made up while carving in the graveyard today.

_ “[The darkness coursing through my veins... circles round, and comes again~]” _

His voice was soft as he recalled the dark, shadowed place and the emotions he felt there. A little yellow bird had come down from the sky and perched there upon a stone he’d just put up, bringing a spot of warmth to the graveyard. He had turned to sing to it as he set up the next stone, letting the words come in smooth Sylvan rather than his stilted Common. Thana wanted him to practice speaking it so that they could get more jobs, but when he was alone, he definitely preferred it.

_ “[I hear it whisper through my pain, singing light, and singing praise~]” _

A quick glance to make sure he wasn’t being watched as he laid down the next stone. Even though he didn’t know the deceased, he knew their names by heart because he’d carved them.

_ “[Never again does the songbird alight… Never again does the sun shine bright, shining bright~]” _

The bird cheeped softly as Rahmi laid down another stone, fluttering over to the next stone and watching him with quick head turns. It didn’t want to leave… So Rahmi kept singing for it, until all the stones were laid.

_ “[Oh, following all that I’ve known… I find I’m alone~ _ _  
_ _ But there, waiting for me ‘round the bend… is this; is the end.]” _

Rahmi opened his eyes to stare at the fading orange sky. He could feel Thana’s gaze on him, even her breath silent as Rahmi’s song echoed out into the air around them. It made him feel suddenly sheepish, and he continued staring out, speaking quickly.

“[Just something made up, doesn’t mean anything,]” he said, feeling his cheeks burning. “[Don’t laugh.]”

“[I’m not laughing.]” Thana scooted closer, taking his hand. There was so much peace, so much kindness in her voice. She would never shame him. “[Rahmi, that was lovely. Your singing is wonderful.]”

“[...you really think so?]” Rahmi dared to look at her, finding his sister smiling again--a real, genuine, heartwarming smile.

“[I really do.]” Thana squeezed his hand, turning her gaze back to the last rays of the setting sun. “[Will you sing for me again sometime? I felt so relaxed hearing your voice… Your dream.]”

“[...’kay.]” Rahmi smiled, looking out to the sky again. If Thana liked it… well, maybe his dream could be worth something after all.

...

_ “Don't call to me... I am not who I used to be.  
_ __ The light is wherever you are, fighting inside my heart…  
_ And when the sun comes shining through, I’ll be there…  
_ __ Waiting for you.”

Rahmi opens his eyes, his hand resting on Zaiphoros’ hilt as he stares out at the setting sun. It’s getting dark… If he doesn’t get going soon, he’ll end up having to sleep on the platform, and he can’t be getting exhausted  _ now _ when they’re about to embark on an important mission.

“That’s a new one,” he says softly as he rises, looking to the sword in his hand. “I hope it was relaxing. I haven’t been practicing as much with everything going on, but… I still wanted to sing it for you before we have to go back into battle. I know hearing us fight must not be pleasant for you...”

There’s not much reaction from Zaiphoros beyond a faint pulse, possibly meant to be reassuring, and Rahmi gently sheathes the blade after a moment, closing his eyes.

“I sang it without the aspect, too.” He loves how his sounds with the aspect. So much nicer, smoother, more like how he really wants it when he sings... but he wants Thana to recognize his voice as his. “I don’t know if you could tell or not…”

Rahmi wonders what she thinks of all of this. He wishes he could ask her. What does it mean to have a dream? Even after all this time… His only real dream is being with Thana. 

But Rahmi can’t tell her that. It would make her too sad... That’s the last thing either of them need.

“Alright, Thana. Time to go back.” He tries to smile, but without his sister there, it feels like there’s no reason to. The sun has gone below the horizon now, bathing them in darkness as Rahmi straightens up and heads for the platforms, holding his own hand to steady himself.

Maybe he should have tried imagining life without her after all. Maybe it would have prepared him for this emptiness.

**Author's Note:**

> I haven’t written in past tense in a long time, so this was an exercise in that. Thank you for reading.


End file.
